I think pining *is* safe in a way, in that while a relationship isn't yet happening you don't have to think about all the ways that it is hard. And then it is, and you do.
Also speaking NOT AT ALL from personal experience, I can believe that. Both because pining involves much less real vulnerability and messiness than real relationships, but I think that pining for someone who has gone away can be a way of avoiding the present too, which might be Shen Wei's style -- you don't have to like yourself or your life now, and if there are things you don't like or if you feel alone, well, it must be because of this beautiful unattainable thing. So there's no need to change anything or to face yourself, or to wonder why you want what you want. Which I think might be a valid interpretation of Shen Wei, from what I've seen so far.
But of course reality is much more complicated. And it is probably awful when this is what you've wanted and built your life around for 10,000 years.
With Shen Wei, I wonder how much he really wants to stop pining -- in the eps I've seen so far, he seems very keen on making sure their relationship doesn't go beyond the pining stage.
And it's hard to do that while also protecting yourself and advocating for your own needs. Not sure if something like that is happening here.
This sounds plausible.
I think that Shen Wei may have this dynamic with everyone, even outside of romantic relationships.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2020-04-29 08:09 pm (UTC)Yeah, just yeah.
I think pining *is* safe in a way, in that while a relationship isn't yet happening you don't have to think about all the ways that it is hard. And then it is, and you do.
Also speaking NOT AT ALL from personal experience, I can believe that. Both because pining involves much less real vulnerability and messiness than real relationships, but I think that pining for someone who has gone away can be a way of avoiding the present too, which might be Shen Wei's style -- you don't have to like yourself or your life now, and if there are things you don't like or if you feel alone, well, it must be because of this beautiful unattainable thing. So there's no need to change anything or to face yourself, or to wonder why you want what you want. Which I think might be a valid interpretation of Shen Wei, from what I've seen so far.
But of course reality is much more complicated. And it is probably awful when this is what you've wanted and built your life around for 10,000 years.
With Shen Wei, I wonder how much he really wants to stop pining -- in the eps I've seen so far, he seems very keen on making sure their relationship doesn't go beyond the pining stage.
And it's hard to do that while also protecting yourself and advocating for your own needs. Not sure if something like that is happening here.
This sounds plausible.
I think that Shen Wei may have this dynamic with everyone, even outside of romantic relationships.