Guardian and me, May 2020

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Now up to episode 23 and I had to completely give up on every hope of remaining unspoiled for anything and go binge on every spoiler I could find. Shen Wei's sketchiness and secret-keeping was starting to get to me. Not because I was worried he was Really Bad, more the opposite - there is nothing that I love in a narrative more than a good villain redemption arc, really nothing, and I felt like canon was horribly teasing me to give me the possibility of one with a character so delicious. But I wasn't seeing any villain redemption discourse about him in fandom, so I needed to read spoilers. And ok, I guess not.

But as a consolation prize, I got to meet Ye Zun, who is apparently the go-to in the fandom for people who like to write redemption arcs for villains. Or draw them, like this. I look forward to getting to know him better. And you couldn't give him an angstier backstory, all the Pain and Awful that is life in Dixing with the Extra of being trapped in a pillar for thousands of years. When he said that line about sunflowers inevitably reaching towards the sun I couldn't help but feel his pain, no matter how murdery he was being.

It seems like the character of Ye Zun was designed to meet my particular desire to see Shen Wei be more awful than he is going to be in this canon. Rather than having him be awful, they put the awful on his twin brother who looks just like him. I'm okay with that, and thank you show for working so hard to meet the emotional needs that I am bringing to it.


Guardian (at least the TV show) does seem to be a canon in which people mostly stay in their alignment, people get introduced as good or bad or morally ambiguous and then mostly stay that way. Am I right about this? Feel free to spoil me if you have relevant spoilers.

I've been moving slowly through the TV show because it is hitting me *so* hard right now, it went from feeling very emotionally safe to hurting a lot to watch...just as soon as I got invested in the plight of the Dixing people stuck underground with no light and no schools. Right now I care about that even more than the central romance, which sort of feels like engaging with the canon wrong. (I mean, guys, be happy together or not but fix Dixing already I'm crying here.) I feel like when a canon hurts this much the only way out is through, see what gets resolved in canon and find fixit fic for the rest. So I'm definitely going to keep watching, but I'm moving slowly.

*

In novelverse things I'm reading and enjoying:

This meta about how Shen Wei's novelverse arc works in Buddhist terms.
This meta about the god Kunlun in the novel.
This genderswapped Kunlun/Ghost King art.
This lovely AU in which Shen Wei reincarnates rather than Kunlun.

Comments

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I am so happy to see you here and joining my Ye Zun feelingsplurge. I am OTPing Ye Zun/light so hard it hurts right now, and yes he needs cuddles with his gege too. Thank you for helping provide them. Your fics are a light in the dark places that canon is going and I'm so grateful.

Shen Wei had a very melodramatic speech in one of the early episodes where he sort of implied that he was the general of a defeated army and the Treaty the best he could do.

Yes! Thank you for reminding me. I think I took that speech at face value, that he at least feels responsible for some of the awful that has happened to Dixing, whether or not he actually was.

One AU that I'd sort of like to see written, I think, is one where Shen Wei was actually on the losing side back then and dealing with the consequences of his actions – a sort of former honorable opponent. I thought they were gearing up for something like that + Zhao Yunlan defeating him in the past (I was spoiled for the time travel) but then we didn't get it and while I do enjoy what we did get, I am also slightly wistful for what I thought I was getting.

I think we are on the same page here, that was also more or less what I thought we were getting. Either ZYL defeating him in the past, or alternatively him betraying (or feeling like he betrayed) Dixing for ZYL. I think one reason that I fell for hard for Ye Zun is that he does actually think that Shen Wei betrayed everyone (or at least he's telling that story) and it was a story that I was already sort of wanting and thefore predisposed to believe. So fine, evil villain's mind-manipulations got to me, I guess I'll have to live with that. (::hugs woobie villain through pillar::)

evil murderbirb Ye Zun, who is the greatest woobie of all time and deserved to be got out of the pillar and not condemned to an eternity of suffering.

It brings me joy just to see this sentence in a comment on my journal.

[extrapenguin]

Your fics are a light in the dark places that canon is going and I'm so grateful.
♥ Thank you! I am so glad. Ye Zun deserves to be a happy sunflower in the Sunlight while getting gege cuddles (and food). Melt the Hallows and release their poor prisoner to a more humane prison, if nothing else!

he at least feels responsible for some of the awful that has happened to Dixing, whether or not he actually was
Oh, he definitely feels responsible for the things, even the ones he wasn't there to affect.

(I'm also really looking forward to what you think of everything once you've watched the show through, as it's consistently very good about showing a Thing and then later giving context to the Thing through flashback revelations, basically.)

So fine, evil villain's mind-manipulations got to me, I guess I'll have to live with that. (::hugs woobie villain through pillar::)
If there's enough of us, we can form a chain of huggers to completely encircle his pillar!