fic not-writing meme

[waterscroll]

::glares angrily at pile of drafts that somehow don't write themselves::

Since I seem not to be in a fic-writing headspace right now, let's have a meme: You give me a prompt and I'll tell you about the fic I'm not going to write based on it.

Alternatively, give me a description of a fic you're not going to write and I'll tell you about the squeeful comment I'd have written on it if it existed.

Comments

[scytale]

This is hilarious (and surprisingly sweet and full of character study), even without knowing that much about Ye Zun.

Like, he keeps making choices that value victory over everything, and then ends up smooching Ma Gui and very confused.

I have to know! Is this the sudden out-of-nowhere smooches or is there slowly dawning dread that this long speech is in fact a romantic confession, first?

He keeps ending up with Ma Gui or Da Qing.

...I think I might crackship Da Qing/Ye Zun, now. I mean. "Villain redeemed by love" and "villain redeemed by being covered in kittens" are both perfectly serviceable tropes, so why not both at once?

[waterscroll]

Is this the sudden out-of-nowhere smooches or is there slowly dawning dread that this long speech is in fact a romantic confession, first?

Oh, there's gifts and such, and Ye Zun flirts back for the fun of it, but he doesn't think it's serious until Ma Gui is all I Must Speak My Heart Which Cannot Be Denied. And then Ye Zun lets it play out to see where it will go and finds himself in a smooch.


I think I might crackship Da Qing/Ye Zun

It exists!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/24609232
It's long and unfinished I haven't read it, but it seems to be an AU in which Ye Zun is not evil.

But yes, my unwritten fic definitely includes a CG of Ye Zun with Da Qing in cute kitty form on his lap and a highly bemused expression. It's an interesting piece of nonexistent art with its light/dark imagery, Ye Zun is all in white with a black cat shedding cat hair all over him

[scytale]

Ye Zun flirts back for the fun of it, but he doesn't think it's serious until Ma Gui is all I Must Speak My Heart Which Cannot Be Denied. And then Ye Zun lets it play out to see where it will go and finds himself in a smooch.

Awww. I'm glad he gets to do some fun flirting, even if he doesn't get on Shen Wei's route.

It's an interesting piece of nonexistent art with its light/dark imagery, Ye Zun is all in white with a black cat shedding cat hair all over him

This sounds absolutely lovely! I want all the CGs for this imaginary fic now.

I feel like a lot of pieces of otome art would be better with a WTFing MC.


It exists!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/24609232
It's long and unfinished I haven't read it, but it seems to be an AU in which Ye Zun is not evil.

Yes! Marking for later. :D

It seems like there are a couple of other shippers too, though not writing in English.

[waterscroll]

OMG someone made a Guardian dating sim AU:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWjUlIypWKQ&t=31s

Not at all like the one I was imagining, but still.

[scytale]

Omg. :D

I'm a little confused by what's going on! Is SW trying to get onto the true route (ZYL's route)?

(Also, I like Ye Zun's style and his dedication to chains and clothes that must be a PAIN to keep clean!)

[waterscroll]

I *think* what is going on is that Ye Zun sends Shen Wei into a dating sim where he has to find the right version of Zhao Yunlan. Then in the end Ye Zun goes into the game himself and bonks all of them.

I like Ye Zun's style and his dedication to chains and clothes that must be a PAIN to keep clean!

He likes bright things and to dress all in white. In episode 20 he calls himself a sunflower, and yeah, it fits.

[scytale]

OKAY I UNDERSTAND THIS SO MUCH BETTER ON REWATCH NOW!

It is so amazing omg. Also I totally didn't realize on the first watch that all the love interests had ZYL's face, oops!

I felt so bad for SW. And the not!ZYLs. And mostly SW. And a part of me worries he never made it out.

This is so fantastically well-made and clever and funny and creepy! :D