More on watching Guardian in Corona Times
Apr. 26th, 2020 11:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
waterscrollIn episode 15 Zhao Yunlan visits Dixing for the first time. He asks Shen Wei a fairly dumb question: why is it so dark? And gets the obvious answer: Dixing is underground and light is a scarce resource. Fortunately, Dixing people don't need it to survive.
This was probably intended to hurt when it was written, but sitting here in April 20fucking20, having not left my apartment to see daylight in approximately one billion years (or six and a half weeks, who can tell at this point) this probably hurts more than it was intended to. I don't need sunlight to live. Really, I don't. I'll be fine. And whatever treaty made the Dixing people have to agree to this IS NOT OK AND HAS TO STOP AND IS TERRIBLE AND AWFUL FOREVER. Um. I'm fine. Really. Except that I'm not and neither is the world and now I am having intense feelings about fictional underground-dwellers and it's this damned show's fault.
This episode threw me for an emotional loop and I take back everything I said about this show being emotionally safe. Mostly because this is the episode where finally Shen Wei is in a relationship with the guy he's been pining over for millennia, and you'd think he'd be happy but he's not. I mean there are moments, but mostly he still looks like a tense nervous bunny buried in secrets up to his pining eyes. And I don't know what these secrets are! But I want him to be happy, and right now he's not.
Some of it is maybe the power games. I am utterly in awe of Zhao Yunlan's determination to not only marry a terrifyingly powerful hell demon but to boss him around, pry out all his secrets and get him to do housework. It's kind of hilarious to watch. But the problem with pining for someone for a very long time is that when you finally get together it can be hard to have proper boundaries or protect yourself in any way, and for all Shen Wei's terrifying powers I'm a little worried about him. Maybe more than a little.
But look, that's realistic I guess, and it also makes sense thematically. For all the show is at its heart a romance, it's a romance that is intertwined somehow with the great and unresolved tragedy of this show's universe, which includes but is not limited to Dixing people not being able to see the sun. There's much more at stake here than the love between two people, no matter how prettily they pine and lust after each other. The power balance is weird and out of whack - on an individual level Shen Wei is vastly more powerful than Zhao Yunlan, but it seems (?) that as a whole Haxing is more powerful than Dixing, at least in that it is keeping them underground and out of the sun. There's also apparently a ton of painful history between Haxing and Dixing, as well as between Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan personally, that Zhao Yunlan doesn't know about. How to make a happy relationship out of this mess? Who knows. But damnit show I am expecting you to tell me.
This was probably intended to hurt when it was written, but sitting here in April 20fucking20, having not left my apartment to see daylight in approximately one billion years (or six and a half weeks, who can tell at this point) this probably hurts more than it was intended to. I don't need sunlight to live. Really, I don't. I'll be fine. And whatever treaty made the Dixing people have to agree to this IS NOT OK AND HAS TO STOP AND IS TERRIBLE AND AWFUL FOREVER. Um. I'm fine. Really. Except that I'm not and neither is the world and now I am having intense feelings about fictional underground-dwellers and it's this damned show's fault.
This episode threw me for an emotional loop and I take back everything I said about this show being emotionally safe. Mostly because this is the episode where finally Shen Wei is in a relationship with the guy he's been pining over for millennia, and you'd think he'd be happy but he's not. I mean there are moments, but mostly he still looks like a tense nervous bunny buried in secrets up to his pining eyes. And I don't know what these secrets are! But I want him to be happy, and right now he's not.
Some of it is maybe the power games. I am utterly in awe of Zhao Yunlan's determination to not only marry a terrifyingly powerful hell demon but to boss him around, pry out all his secrets and get him to do housework. It's kind of hilarious to watch. But the problem with pining for someone for a very long time is that when you finally get together it can be hard to have proper boundaries or protect yourself in any way, and for all Shen Wei's terrifying powers I'm a little worried about him. Maybe more than a little.
But look, that's realistic I guess, and it also makes sense thematically. For all the show is at its heart a romance, it's a romance that is intertwined somehow with the great and unresolved tragedy of this show's universe, which includes but is not limited to Dixing people not being able to see the sun. There's much more at stake here than the love between two people, no matter how prettily they pine and lust after each other. The power balance is weird and out of whack - on an individual level Shen Wei is vastly more powerful than Zhao Yunlan, but it seems (?) that as a whole Haxing is more powerful than Dixing, at least in that it is keeping them underground and out of the sun. There's also apparently a ton of painful history between Haxing and Dixing, as well as between Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan personally, that Zhao Yunlan doesn't know about. How to make a happy relationship out of this mess? Who knows. But damnit show I am expecting you to tell me.
no subject
Date: 2020-04-29 05:16 pm (UTC)And yeah, the line about not needing something to survive hits hard.
This episode threw me for an emotional loop and I take back everything I said about this show being emotionally safe.
I am still in the middle of episode 13 and it is already starting to feel not emotionally safe. It's interesting how quickly the show managed to go from cheesy pining fun to BUT MY FEELINGS.
But the problem with pining for someone for a very long time is that when you finally get together it can be hard to have proper boundaries or protect yourself in any way, and for all Shen Wei's terrifying powers I'm a little worried about him. Maybe more than a little.
Yeah...and I think part of Shen Wei's brand of pining is choosing to give in, which would be fun to watch if I didn't care about him so much.
no subject
Date: 2020-04-29 07:38 pm (UTC)Yeah, as we sit here with our loves stripped down to what we need to survive...we go shopping when we need food to survive, can only work outside if they are essential for survival...and we're missing SO MUCH.
So the line about Dixing people not needing light to survive, yeah, it hits hard.
It's interesting how quickly the show managed to go from cheesy pining fun to BUT MY FEELINGS.
Exactly that.
I think pining *is* safe in a way, in that while a relationship isn't yet happening you don't have to think about all the ways that it is hard. And then it is, and you do.
I think part of Shen Wei's brand of pining is choosing to give in, which would be fun to watch if I didn't care about him so much.
Speaking NOT AT ALL from personal experience, one way that a relationship with a power imbalance can get you in trouble is that if you are the person with more power, and are a generally ethical person, you can try to give in a lot to try to equalize things. And it's hard to do that while also protecting yourself and advocating for your own needs. Not sure if something like that is happening here.
no subject
Date: 2020-04-29 08:09 pm (UTC)Yeah, just yeah.
I think pining *is* safe in a way, in that while a relationship isn't yet happening you don't have to think about all the ways that it is hard. And then it is, and you do.
Also speaking NOT AT ALL from personal experience, I can believe that. Both because pining involves much less real vulnerability and messiness than real relationships, but I think that pining for someone who has gone away can be a way of avoiding the present too, which might be Shen Wei's style -- you don't have to like yourself or your life now, and if there are things you don't like or if you feel alone, well, it must be because of this beautiful unattainable thing. So there's no need to change anything or to face yourself, or to wonder why you want what you want. Which I think might be a valid interpretation of Shen Wei, from what I've seen so far.
But of course reality is much more complicated. And it is probably awful when this is what you've wanted and built your life around for 10,000 years.
With Shen Wei, I wonder how much he really wants to stop pining -- in the eps I've seen so far, he seems very keen on making sure their relationship doesn't go beyond the pining stage.
And it's hard to do that while also protecting yourself and advocating for your own needs. Not sure if something like that is happening here.
This sounds plausible.
I think that Shen Wei may have this dynamic with everyone, even outside of romantic relationships.
no subject
Date: 2020-04-30 02:00 am (UTC)That sounds disconcertingly plausible. I was not expecting to feel so seen by this damned show.
Here's a fic that I think speaks to some of what you are saying. You might want to get to episode 15 before reading it.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/18819244