More on watching Guardian in Corona Times

[waterscroll]

In episode 15 Zhao Yunlan visits Dixing for the first time. He asks Shen Wei a fairly dumb question: why is it so dark? And gets the obvious answer: Dixing is underground and light is a scarce resource. Fortunately, Dixing people don't need it to survive.

This was probably intended to hurt when it was written, but sitting here in April 20fucking20, having not left my apartment to see daylight in approximately one billion years (or six and a half weeks, who can tell at this point) this probably hurts more than it was intended to. I don't need sunlight to live. Really, I don't. I'll be fine. And whatever treaty made the Dixing people have to agree to this IS NOT OK AND HAS TO STOP AND IS TERRIBLE AND AWFUL FOREVER. Um. I'm fine. Really. Except that I'm not and neither is the world and now I am having intense feelings about fictional underground-dwellers and it's this damned show's fault.

This episode threw me for an emotional loop and I take back everything I said about this show being emotionally safe. Mostly because this is the episode where finally Shen Wei is in a relationship with the guy he's been pining over for millennia, and you'd think he'd be happy but he's not. I mean there are moments, but mostly he still looks like a tense nervous bunny buried in secrets up to his pining eyes. And I don't know what these secrets are! But I want him to be happy, and right now he's not.

Some of it is maybe the power games. I am utterly in awe of Zhao Yunlan's determination to not only marry a terrifyingly powerful hell demon but to boss him around, pry out all his secrets and get him to do housework. It's kind of hilarious to watch. But the problem with pining for someone for a very long time is that when you finally get together it can be hard to have proper boundaries or protect yourself in any way, and for all Shen Wei's terrifying powers I'm a little worried about him. Maybe more than a little.

But look, that's realistic I guess, and it also makes sense thematically. For all the show is at its heart a romance, it's a romance that is intertwined somehow with the great and unresolved tragedy of this show's universe, which includes but is not limited to Dixing people not being able to see the sun. There's much more at stake here than the love between two people, no matter how prettily they pine and lust after each other. The power balance is weird and out of whack - on an individual level Shen Wei is vastly more powerful than Zhao Yunlan, but it seems (?) that as a whole Haxing is more powerful than Dixing, at least in that it is keeping them underground and out of the sun. There's also apparently a ton of painful history between Haxing and Dixing, as well as between Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan personally, that Zhao Yunlan doesn't know about. How to make a happy relationship out of this mess? Who knows. But damnit show I am expecting you to tell me.

Comments

[solo]

Aaaah, I was wondering if there was an update. I found it!

I'm really sorry about your shitty situation. :( I wish there was something I could do to help, and in case you're living in any major conurbation in England, Scotland, or Wales, I invite you to come stay at my house for the duration because I've also been isolating so I'm safe but I have a garden! And I mean this very seriously. (I'm used to meeting complete strangers and hanging out with them.)

mostly he still looks like a tense nervous bunny buried in secrets up to his pining eyes. And I don't know what these secrets are! But I want him to be happy, and right now he's not.

He knows too much and for better or worse feels he can't tell Zhao Yunlan. Once you find out what it is, you can join the meta about whether it was necessary or not. :)

There's much more at stake here than the love between two people, no matter how prettily they pine and lust after each other. The power balance is weird and out of whack - on an individual level Shen Wei is vastly more powerful than Zhao Yunlan, but it seems (?) that as a whole Haxing is more powerful than Dixing, at least in that it is keeping them underground and out of the sun.

Yes, that's true. Shen Wei has far more power than Zhao Yunlan even though, I have to break it to you gently, he's not a hell demon really. That's one of the differences between the show and the novel that I actually like: the 'demons' in the book are actually evil demons and Shen Wei is the only one who has decided he doesn't wnat to be like that. Nobody cares about killing the rest of them. Whereas as this show goes on, we meet so many Dixingren who are just like us, and the show makes a very determined point of that.

The Dixing in darkness thing... there was a treaty to keep Dixing and Haixing separate and that wasn't actually an issue because Dixing still had the Holy Tools and therefore, light. It's not like the treaty condemned them to a horrible fate. The Tools just got lost later, the Guardian Lantern got extinguishes, and then life got bad.

Haixing... well, they are trying to keep the Dixingren away because those people have powers they can't match. It's not kind but fear does stuff to people's attitude.

I'm enjoying reading your thoughts ast you go through this without being utterly spoiled! I hope you aren't spoiled for the ending.

[waterscroll]

Hello and welcome! It's nice to see you here. It really is a pleasant surprise to get such in-depth comments from a brief hello on an old introduction post, but sid_guardian seems like a very welcoming community. It reminds me of livejournal ten years ago, in a good way.

I think it's likely that I'll find these posts embarrassing once I've engaged with more of canon. So far I've watched up to episode 15 and I binge-read the novel a few days ago in the middle of the night but definitely need to read it again to more fully understand it. I'm glad you're finding my early thoughts worth reading anyway.

the 'demons' in the book are actually evil demons and Shen Wei is the only one who has decided he doesn't wnat to be like that

I really want him to be both. I love that in the show the Dixing people are people with moral weight who are capable of love and whose suffering matters. At the same time I *loved* the young Ghost King from the novel. I get the picture that this isn't drama-verse Shen Wei's backstory but I still can't completely get it out of my mind. Well, I guess it's good that both canons exist.

I hope you aren't spoiled for the ending.

Spoiled for that they both die, yes, I am glad I am not going to be blindsided by that. And I've poked enough around the fandom to know that once I finish crying there will be plenty of fixit fics for me to read. But beyond that...it's not exactly that I'm avoiding spoilers, more that even reading spoilers it's hard to get a full picture of what's going to happen.

I am alas very far away from you but I will think about your garden. It is lovely to get such a kind invitation.

[solo]

I really want him to be both. I love that in the show the Dixing people are people with moral weight who are capable of love and whose suffering matters. At the same time I *loved* the young Ghost King from the novel.

I get that! And I'll totally read and love fanfic based on the novel (I'm currently part of a team that turns the novel translation into better English). But... well, I find that overall, merging novel and drama canon turns out to be impossible, so you'll find me discussing them as very separate entities.

Spoiled for that they both die, yes, I am glad I am not going to be blindsided by that.

Haha I was, and I would not miss the experience for anything. I was so new to the conventions of Chinese drama then.... ah, my innocence, where have you gone.

If you ever want to entertain yourself by reading what an unspoiled Western person's reactions might be, here are mine: https://solo.dreamwidth.org/582623.html

it's not exactly that I'm avoiding spoilers, more that even reading spoilers it's hard to get a full picture of what's going to happen.

That is true. It gets quite convoluted.

I am alas very far away from you but I will think about your garden.

Aww, that's a shame. Maybe one day!

[scytale]

I'm sorry that this episode was so painful. :(

And yeah, the line about not needing something to survive hits hard.


This episode threw me for an emotional loop and I take back everything I said about this show being emotionally safe.

I am still in the middle of episode 13 and it is already starting to feel not emotionally safe. It's interesting how quickly the show managed to go from cheesy pining fun to BUT MY FEELINGS.

But the problem with pining for someone for a very long time is that when you finally get together it can be hard to have proper boundaries or protect yourself in any way, and for all Shen Wei's terrifying powers I'm a little worried about him. Maybe more than a little.

Yeah...and I think part of Shen Wei's brand of pining is choosing to give in, which would be fun to watch if I didn't care about him so much.

[waterscroll]

And yeah, the line about not needing something to survive hits hard.

Yeah, as we sit here with our loves stripped down to what we need to survive...we go shopping when we need food to survive, can only work outside if they are essential for survival...and we're missing SO MUCH.

So the line about Dixing people not needing light to survive, yeah, it hits hard.

It's interesting how quickly the show managed to go from cheesy pining fun to BUT MY FEELINGS.

Exactly that.

I think pining *is* safe in a way, in that while a relationship isn't yet happening you don't have to think about all the ways that it is hard. And then it is, and you do.

I think part of Shen Wei's brand of pining is choosing to give in, which would be fun to watch if I didn't care about him so much.

Speaking NOT AT ALL from personal experience, one way that a relationship with a power imbalance can get you in trouble is that if you are the person with more power, and are a generally ethical person, you can try to give in a lot to try to equalize things. And it's hard to do that while also protecting yourself and advocating for your own needs. Not sure if something like that is happening here.

[scytale]

and we're missing SO MUCH.

Yeah, just yeah.


I think pining *is* safe in a way, in that while a relationship isn't yet happening you don't have to think about all the ways that it is hard. And then it is, and you do.

Also speaking NOT AT ALL from personal experience, I can believe that. Both because pining involves much less real vulnerability and messiness than real relationships, but I think that pining for someone who has gone away can be a way of avoiding the present too, which might be Shen Wei's style -- you don't have to like yourself or your life now, and if there are things you don't like or if you feel alone, well, it must be because of this beautiful unattainable thing. So there's no need to change anything or to face yourself, or to wonder why you want what you want. Which I think might be a valid interpretation of Shen Wei, from what I've seen so far.

But of course reality is much more complicated. And it is probably awful when this is what you've wanted and built your life around for 10,000 years.

With Shen Wei, I wonder how much he really wants to stop pining -- in the eps I've seen so far, he seems very keen on making sure their relationship doesn't go beyond the pining stage.

And it's hard to do that while also protecting yourself and advocating for your own needs. Not sure if something like that is happening here.

This sounds plausible.

I think that Shen Wei may have this dynamic with everyone, even outside of romantic relationships.

[waterscroll]

you don't have to like yourself or your life now, and if there are things you don't like or if you feel alone, well, it must be because of this beautiful unattainable thing.

That sounds disconcertingly plausible. I was not expecting to feel so seen by this damned show.

Here's a fic that I think speaks to some of what you are saying. You might want to get to episode 15 before reading it.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/18819244